How you react when others give you critique will impact their willingness to give the honest feedback you need to have the relationships you want.
How do you respond when you receive critical feedback?
- Do you get defensive and minimize your part?
- Do you seek to pass blame, focusing on ways they are wrong?
- Or do you get curious and seek to understand?
- Are you secure enough to look for ways their feedback is right, even if you don't agree with them in full?
- Are humble enough to own your part -- admit you were wrong and seek ways to make it right?
None of us is perfect. We all mess up at times. And while our initial reaction to critique may be hurt, fear, or self-protection, we do not have to stay in that place.
What's important is not our immediate reaction. What's important is what we do next. Do we stay there -- reactive, resistant -- or do we shift and become responsive instead?
Responsive people are secure, humble, and confident. They are willing to admit when they were wrong and take action to make things right -- to learn, grow, and improve.
We all have blind spots. We need people who are willing to give us honest feedback. We can help them help us by being responsive when they do.
If you want to become a more responsive leader, team member, family member -- let's talk. There are practical ways you can learn to become less reactive and more responsive over time.
- In key relationships, when you receive critical feedback, do you tend to be more resistant or responsive?
- If you trend toward resistant, what are the consequences of this? How does this tendency impact those relationships?
- If you trend toward responsive -- how to you do that? What skills are you using -- intentionally or accidentally -- to respond versus react? Be intentional to use those skills in other situations where you tend to be more resistant.